*Trigger* Baby Girl Update: Off bedrest and waiting for baby girl to arrive....

We have made it to 36 weeks and 3 days! Today is April Fool's day, and I keep thinking that this doesn't feel real. Is life playing a trick on me, or did we really make it past the scary preterm labor risk? At 22 weeks I was researching micro-preemie survival rates and hoping she would stay in at least long enough that we could depend on steroid shots and a challenging NICU stay to save her life.

Today I sit and wonder if she is going to give us the best April Fool's surprise, or hang on a little longer and keep growing. At my last appointment the doctor told me that she is still pretty small. The growth scan estimated about 4 pounds and 11ounces. I was told that these estimates are not extremely accurate, but no matter which way it swings, she is past the really scary part of all this. He also said that it would be good if I were to go into labor at any point now.

I am off my medication that was being used to control my contractions, so after 3 long months, I am able to drive again. I am also allowed to move around more. I am enjoying this freedom. After dropping my son off at preschool, I picked up a few last minute items for our baby girl. Last night I cooked dinner for the first time in a long time. As silly as it seems, it was really nice to be able to do a little of my own laundry and wash some dishes too. I am still being very careful about lifting or bending, and if I get tired I rest, but it feels so amazing to do things for myself and my family again.

 This is such an amazing place to be in this pregnancy. I am able to relax and really take this all in. My mom and best friend threw me an awesome baby shower, and we are having fun collecting a bunch of pink and purple baby items. It is so nice to get to give into some of these nesting instincts too. I am loving getting all her clothes washed and ready and arranging her nursery items too.  

It all feels like a dream. Although these months have been long, it still feels so sudden at the same time. After losing Wyatt, I felt as if I would be lost in darkness forever. My family and friends helped me pull through, and Hunter was a major inspiration as well. I am still in shock that we are blessed with another rainbow baby. Baby Girl Stine.... You are loved more than you will ever know!

*Trigger* Baby Girl Update... Resting and Nesting at 35 weeks

Tomorrow we will be at 35 weeks! The last growth estimate(about 1.5 weeks ago) put our little girl at 3pounds and 11ounces. I was told at my appointment this week that those estimates are usually very inaccurate. The main thing they are looking for during the growth checks is that our little girl is continuing to grow. I was also told that if anything looks alarming with the fluid levels, blood flow, growth or NSTs, we are at a point that they want her out. Also if I were to go into labor on my own, at this point they wouldn't stop it.

Depending on the reason for delivery, we may be looking at a C-section or an induction. Once we reach 36 weeks, the doctors want me to stop taking the Nifedapine medication that is currently being used to stop my contractions. I have read that some people go into labor within 24 hours of stopping that medication all on their own, and others end up needing to be induced. I was also told that at 36 weeks I will be allowed and encouraged to move around more.

So, we don't know if I will be having a C-section, induction, or vaginal birth. We don't know if I will deliver in the next week or next 5 weeks. We don't know how big or small she really is. What we do know though is that as of now she is doing great with her NSTs and my fluid levels are stable and the blood flow to the baby has improved. There is no indication at this point that she is distressed. As long as this continues, they want to keep her in, but if any of that changes, sometimes being out is better than in even if she is small.

I am doing my best to lay low and relax when I can, and I am still working hard to keep my calorie and protein intake up. I do feel like I am in a nesting stage. I want everything ready for our sweet girl. It is a little frustrating to want to get things done while knowing the best thing for our little one is for me to rest. The good news is that the internet is a great place for shopping and planning for a baby, and my Mom has been able to come spend some time helping me get organized.

 It is fun to be in a planning and celebrating stage of this pregnancy! We have a baby shower scheduled, and everyday new packages arrive from orders I have placed. We have her stroller and car seat too! We are adding some ladybugs and butterflies to Hunter's room because at least for a little while, they will share a room. I love the set I found! There is still so much I would like to do, but I know even if she comes today, we have everything we need. I am getting so excited to meet our precious girl!

Now we need to work on choosing her name...

**Trigger** Baby Girl Update: Appointment full of GOOD news!

Today I am 31 weeks and 3 days, and for once in a long time, my doctor appointment was full of nothing but GOOD news. We had a little bit of a scare earlier this week about some symptoms that pointed towards pre-eclampsia. After running additional tests, the doctors are no longer concerned. Today's NST was perfect too. The best news I received today though was that the Doppler is showing that the blood-flow to the baby is normal. The doctor said that although she may not catch back up, as long as the blood-flow stays where it is now, she shouldn't fall further behind in growth. He will do another growth check in 2 weeks.

I will still be closely monitored with NST appointments two times a week, and an ultrasound once a week to check on blood-flow and fluid levels. I will still continue my medication that is helping to stop my frequent contractions, but they are less concerned about preterm labor and will only do FFN tests again if the contractions pick back up. Hearing all this good news makes it so much easier to rest and eat as much as I can. I will do what ever it takes for our baby girl.

Today I am going to work on figuring out what I want in my hospital bag and writing a birth plan. Everything seemed so up in the air for a while that it was hard to think past each day, but now I am getting excited again. Thank you all again for your support through all of this. Thank you for being there through the ups and the downs.

***Trigger** Baby Girl Update: Still pretty little, but not showing signs of distress

Information is a blessing and a curse. Time can be the same. For a this hormonal, nervous mother, the combination can sometimes be overwhelming. "Are hiccups a bad sign or good?" "Is she kicking enough?" "Is she kicking too much?" "Is this nausea a sign of Preeclampsia?" "Is my medication a high enough dose?" "Could the medication be causing problems?" and on and on and on.....

Loving advice can be difficult as well. I know that positive thinking is important, but sometimes it is hard when doctors and other people tell me to pay attention to every little detail. At this point I am monitoring how often she kicks, how many calories and protein I am taking in, how many contractions I am having, how often and how long she has the hiccups. This is all on top of the many many tests  the doctors run each week.

So that brings me to today. I decided to stop worrying what the doctor might think and ask my questions.

Preterm Labor:
He decided my contractions are under control enough that we don't need to do a FFN test this time. It is hard for me to not have the reassurance every 2 weeks, but good to know that he is less concerned about preterm labor. She is head down, but he said that doesn't really mean much at this point.

Hiccups:
He said hiccups are a really good sign about how well the placenta is working. He explained it well in the appointment, but I can't really remember enough to post about it here. She had hiccups during my ultrasound too, it was pretty cute. :)

Naseau/Preeclampsia:
He eased my fears about Preeclampsia after checking a few things and asking me a few questions. My regular OB told me that some people are lucky enough to have "morning sickness" return in the 3rd trimester.

Blood Flow:
He said the blood flow to the baby is still off, but he did see a little improvement. It is always good to hear that word. :)

Fluid Levels:
My fluid levels are still great.

Kick counts:
I am supposed to be doing kick counts twice a day now. If she is not kicking 10 times in a hour, I am supposed to go Labor and Delivery right away. So far so good!

Non Stress Test:
She passed another non stress test. I will be having these done 2 times a week.

Growth:
She did grow. She is estimated to weigh about 2pounds and 10ounces. That still puts her about 1.5-2 weeks behind in growth and somewhere in the 10-15%.

Placenta:
Hiccups, good stress tests, and seeing some improvement in blood flow are all good signs that my placenta is still working well enough for now, but he suspects it will become more of an issue as the pregnancy progresses.

Delivery:
He said at that point she will likely need to be delivered by April 16th. That is only 10 days earlier than my due date. I would love to make it that long! As long as she continues to pass the stress tests, and she doesn't drop off in growth too quickly, she should be able to stay in for many more weeks! I still need to rest to prevent preterm labor, and continue to eat lots of calories and protein.

Although I was hoping to see a better change in her growth, I am feeling good after my appointment today. I have decided to focus on what colors will match her nursery best and research about all the fun new Mommy gadgets out there.

**Trigger**Baby Girl Update: Tests, tests and more tests...

We have made it to 29week and 4 days!!! At this point I am being monitored very frequently. Although all these possible complications can be scary, I am very thankful to be working with some wonderful doctors this time around. These doctors are willing to really explain what is going on while also listening to my concerns. They are taking all the information about this current pregnancy as well as my past pregnancies very seriously.

At this point I will be going in to have non-stress tests done twice a week, an ultrasound to check fluid levels and blood flow once a week, FFN tests every 2 weeks and growth checks every 3 weeks along with my regular visits to my OB every 3 weeks. I am also supposed to be doing kick counts twice a day and monitoring my contractions. The doctors are still concerned about my preterm labor symptoms, but what has them most alarmed at this point is the increase in resistance with the blood flow to our baby girl as well as the drop in growth.

Today's appointment started out like usual with the dreaded question... "How many pregnancies have you had?... and how many live births?" No matter how many times I answer that question, it still breaks my heart a little. Then we met with a different doctor than usual, so he wanted us to explain the details of our Wyatt who was still born at 27weeks and 2 days. Although I am very glad that he is trying to put all the pieces together, it is never easy having to go back and re-live those tough memories.

He will be getting my records from that pregnancy as well as Wyatt's autopsy report to help him try to figure out why we are having similar issues again. It is starting to sound like maybe our little girl's complications are not just another round of bad luck and may actually be related to what ever caused us to lose Wyatt. He said it is very uncommon to see such a fall in growth so early, and the blood flow issues are alarming as well.

I am just so thankful that these issues started so much later this time. Even if one of these tests come back with bad news, our baby girl has a very good fighting chance. She is already over 3 times Wyatt's size and her lungs should be much more developed. I am also very glad that this new doctor as well as our other high-risk doctor and our regular OB are all being very cautious about everything. They are working very hard to try and figure out what is going on at the same time as making sure I am being properly monitored. Plus they treat me respectfully.

I was told today that it is actually a good idea to get up and move around at least a little every day, but to still be very careful and rest when I can. I am still working hard to get all the calories they recommend.

 29 Weeks 4 days

1.5 weeks behind in growth (Will recheck on Tuesday)

2.75cm Cervix length (Wasn't measured again)

1cm dilated and soft

Perfect Fluid levels

Still moving well, but not quite as often.

3 Negative FFN tests

Meds doubled to help control contractions

Blood Flow becoming more resistant

Passed first non-stress test

**Trigger**Baby Girl Update: Falling behind in size

"27 Weeks and 2 days, 27 weeks and 2 days..... 27 weeks and 2 days..." This has been repeating in my head for a while now. That was the point our little Wyatt made it to, and that is the point I am at with this pregnancy. Too much free time lets my mind wonder, and I have been working hard to keep my thoughts positive, but in the night my dreams take over and fear creeps in.

In my dream, We entered the ultrasound office full of hope. At first everything seems fine, but suddenly the bad news floods in. The doctor looks at the blood flow and measures the baby size and says that we need to deliver her right away. I think to myself, 'This can't be happening!' There are a bunch of other weird complications, and I feel out of control.

I was so glad to when I woke up, but the worry was starting to creep into my day.

 
In my Real appointment, We enter the ultrasound office and talk with the doctor. Everything seems fine. The doctor checks the blood flow, and my heart starts to race. He then measures her and says, she is about 1.5 weeks behind in growth. I feel the panic start to set it, but the doctor assures me that I will be monitored weekly and recommends talking with a nutritionist/dietitian. He recommends that I keep track of my calorie intake and be sure that I am getting 2,000-2,200 calories a day.

I will now be seeing the high risk specialist weekly for blood flow and fluid checks. In 3 weeks he will measure her again, and if she is still behind in size, he will run additional tests and decided where to go from there. From my previous experience, I know that that means it is possible they will decide to induce me and deliver her early to be sure she is growing properly. Sometimes it is better for a baby to be out than in.

I am left wondering once again, Why? What is causing another baby to not grow properly. With Wyatt it was due to multiple blood clots and because the cord had a knot. The blood flow tests showed there was a problem with him, but so far our little girl doesn't seem to have any blood flow issues. So what is causing her to not grow? The doctor asked me to take in more calories, and I will be sure to do that, but it is not like I am not eating regularly or having problems with morning sickness still or anything.

It seems very strange to be seeing my regular OB every 2 weeks in order to try to prevent preterm labor, while seeing my High Risk doctor weekly to see if we need to induce me. Either way, it is looking more likely that we will be spending some time in the NICU. With all my experience with pregnancy complications and loss, I have never experienced what it is like to be a parent of a baby in a NICU, and I am really hoping I never have to.

From my research and from discussions with my doctors, I have learned that there is not much known about how much bed rest will help with preterm labor and/or growth issues. Most doctors and researchers claim that some restriction of activity is helpful. I am going to continue to spend most of my time on the couch or my bed. I am also going to make sure to eat more and be sure to get extra protein. I will also be meeting with a dietitian for help in that area. 

So many things about this pregnancy remind me of Wyatt, but there are so many things that are different as well. First off, the high risk doctor has a much better bedside manner, and I feel like I can really trust that he is taking every precaution. He explains everything and encourages questions. Our little girl is smaller than she should be, but she is already about 3 times larger than Wyatt was at this point. Another thing that is very different this time is that I have plenty of amniotic fluid, so her lungs are able to develop properly.

Some days are going to be harder than others, and today is certainly one of them. I am thankful that I will be getting to see her weekly and that I have 2 doctors that I trust on our side. Not to mention all the awesome friends and family supporting us! I will never stop thanking you all.

27 Weeks 2 days

1.5 weeks behind in growth

2.75cm Cervix length

1cm dilated

Perfect Fluid levels

Lots of movement

2 Negative FFN tests

Contractions controlled by Meds

*Trigger* Baby Girl Stine: We have made it to 25 weeks.

We have made it to 25 weeks! Every week and every day makes such a huge difference for her development. We had a Fetal Fibronectin Test done at our last appointment and it was negative! This is a huge relief. These results mean that I have about a 1% chance of going in to labor within 2 weeks of the test. My doctor will retest every 2-3 weeks.  http://www.ffntest.com/

As for me. I am taking it easy still, but I have been getting up a little more each day monitoring my contractions. The doctors say bedrest hasn't been proven to make a difference, but I notice more contractions when I am moving around, so I am staying on the couch as much as I can. Brook will be going back to work on Monday, so I am working on figuring out ways to get Hunter to be more self sufficient. Luckily he starts preschool on Tuesday. It's just 2 days a week, but I am excited for him. He hasn't had much activity lately, and he hasn't had much time with other kids.


 I want to thank all my awesome friends and family for your love and support through out this pregnancy. It means so much to me to have so many people who already love our little girl. I am feeling pretty hopeful lately.